THE KINGDOM MAN AND HIS FAMILY
By Femi Omowumi
Dr. Tony Evans in his book Kingdom Man defines the kingdom man as “one who places himself under God’s rulership and submits his life to the lordship of Jesus Christ.”
From this definition, we see a kingdom man as one who functions according to the principles and precepts of the kingdom of God. This implies that he has a spiritual connection with God and carries out his operations in line with the principles of the kingdom of God. For short, a kingdom man is a Christian, genuinely born again.
Therefore, in relation to his family, He is the man who is what God wants him to be in the family, as a husband and father. In these capacities the kingdom man is supposed to take responsibility for those whom God has entrusted into his care. He clearly understands that he has an obligation to his family, to do things expected of his status as a husband and as a father.
Text: I Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (KJV).
If anyone does not take care of his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (ISV).
The Bible presents Abraham to us as an example of who a kingdom man should be to his family in Gen. 18:19
For I have known him, to the end that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of Jehovah, to do righteousness and justice; to the end that Jehovah may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
From all of the foregoing, we have identified a sense of responsibility as the hallmark of the kingdom man in relation to his family.
This needs to be specially highlighted to the level of understanding of every kingdom man in order to be successful in his family, especially these days that our generation is witnessing a crucial change of roles in the society. The 21st Century civilization, the trend of the economy and the general tilt to Westernization are fast changing the role of the man in the home. Before now, the roles of men and women in the home were fairly well-defined: woman was expected to be a mother and a wife, taking care of husband’s well-being and raising children and man had to provide for his family. But we are in an era when women are fighting fiercely for gender equality. And to worsen this, more women are earning higher salaries than their husbands nowadays, making them to be very economically independent on their husbands. So, the kingdom man these days will have to do more to prove that he is a responsible man at home.
THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF A KINGDOM MAN TO HIS FAMILY
A kingdom man, being the husband and father in the family is expected to be a protector; a provider, a leader, a teacher and a priest in the home. The New Testament spells out his responsibilities as a husband and a father in Ephesians 5:25-30, 6:4, I Peter 3:7, and Colossians 3:19-21.
In his book Preparing for the Evening Time, Femi Omowumi tries to classify the areas of responsibilities into three:
Responsibility for Emotional Security
Responsibility for Physical Security
Responsibility for Financial Security
But for this purpose of this discussion we are adding a fourth area, which is Responsibility for Spiritual Security.
As a Christian, a kingdom man is to bring leadership to his home and family just as Christ leads the Church (Eph. 5:23). Like Jesus Christ, he must not be self-centered, but must be ready to give himself for the physical security of the family and protect his members from all kinds of evil and against intruders (John 10:11-13).
Most importantly, he must provide protection for his wife from in-laws. To do this, he has to be man enough to stand alone against all expectations contrary to the welfare of his wife.
Secondly, he has to provide security for the future of his wife by being loyal to her (Matt. 19:5-6; Eph. 5:31). Loyalty here means a lifelong commitment to her. As Jesus Christ stands by His Church through every experience of life, so should the kingdom man do to his wife. He should learn to marry her over and over again all his life, in spite of her shortcomings or deficiencies.
Providing security for the future of the family also entails that the kingdom man does not just live for today, he also plans for tomorrow. This is not just family planning but more than that, planning for the family. He should learn from the mistake of the prophet who died and left nothing but debt behind for the family (II Kings 4:1). He should therefore plan for unforeseen contingencies.
Thirdly, the kingdom man should also provide security for the children. He should be there always for the children at least until they go to settle in their own families. He should not be an absentee father who lives the children in the care of other while not
overindulging them. As Jesus Christ promised to be with us always, so a man should the kingdom man spend a lot of time with the children in order to serve as a living example to them (Eph. 6:4). All children learn by copying. So the kingdom man must live his life in such a way as to present to his children a life worth copying.
One may think he does not have enough time but the fact is that we all do if we can prioritize the way we spend our time. Check how much time you spend on social media. You will see that you have quite a lot of time for your wife and children if you put down your phone, tablet, and computer.
The kingdom man should also ensure the future of the children by giving them good secular education.
A kingdom man is to provide for ALL the financial and material needs of his family as Christ seeks to supply all the needs of the Church (Eph 5:25-29). These include their feeding, their clothings, their healthcare etc. Whether by work or by faith, the burden is his to provide the basic needs of the family. See again I Timothy 5:8.
It is the duty of the husband to provide for the totality of his family’s needs (his wife and children). The wife is only a helper, the responsibility is the husband’s. That is the reason why God created man as a functional being and the woman as a relational being. He is created muscular to be able to work and provide for the family, while the woman is created fleshy to be attractive and relational.
When God created man, God planted a garden and placed man there ordering him to keep or tend the garden. He gave man work to do, not the woman.
Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it (Gen. 2:15).
God did not tell the woman to tend the garden. She was just a help meet. He spelt out their roles clearly after they fell in Eden.
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee (Gen. 3:16).
And in Gen. 3: 17-19, he also told the man:
“Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’: “Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust you shall return.”
Man will sweat to eat while the woman will labour to give birth and her desire will be to her husband.
A kingdom man is emotionally stable. He is not short-tempered. He will not scold his wife. He certainly will not beat her but bears with her, love her, nourish and cherish her and the children just as Christ loves the Church (I Pet. 3:7). All women, old or young desire affection from their husbands. They want to be chased all through their life time. Therefore as a kingdom man, the husband must learn to say nice things to his wife.
The kingdom man displays maturity in all his dealings with his wife and children. Maturity is the main distinguishing factor between the men and the boys. Paul told Titus to teach the older men “to be temperate, worthy of respect and self- controlled…Similarly, encourage the young men to be self- controlled” (Titus 2:2,6).
Because a woman needs someone who will make her feel complete, the kingdom man is expected to take interest in the totality of his wife from her thoughts to her dressing (Col 3:19). He must learn to make time to listen to his wife and be available for her because the woman always wants to know her husband’s view point no matter how trivial the subject may be.
As it is necessary for the kingdom man to protect his family from physical harms so is equally important, if not more important, for him to protect his family spiritually. This means he must be a priest in the home. A priests stands in the gap between man and God. He has to lead consistent and regular family worship, prayer and study of the Scriptures. He should ensure the spiritual maturity of his wife (Eph. 5:25-27) and the salvation of his children through every means of godly education. He should never think his job is done by putting a roof over the heads of his members and food in their stomachs. Their spiritual needs must also be fully provided for, before you can shout “Ebenezer.”
We have tried to enumerate the responsibilities of the kingdom man to his family. These responsibilities are numerous and enormous. But they distinguish the kingdom man from every other man. Anyone that wants to live according to the principles and precepts of the kingdom of God to qualify him for heaven must endeavour to meet these demands in his home. Who you are, they say, is louder than what you say, hence who you are is more important than what you say. Therefore live your life so well at home that your family members can testify that you are indeed ‘a kingdom man.‘ and your credibility outside will not be questionable.